The Culllen's go camping!
by AlaskaVampire
Summary: When Alice convinces Bella to camping with her family lots of funny things will happen! Story:MINE! Twilight:SM
1. Breckfest

The Cullen's go camping!!!

Chapter 1: Breakfast

Bella's POV

"BELLA!!! WAKEY WAKEY!!!" a high pitched voice screamed in my ear.

"Go away Alice, I'm sleeping" a mumbled to her but she wasn't having it, she scooped me into her arms and rushed me down the flight of stairs and sat me up in a kitchen chair before I even realized. I fluttered my eyes open to see a grinning pixie-vampire holding up a large breakfast-there was chocolate chip pancakes, eggs, bacon, an orange and apple juice.

"Wow" I stuttered "for someone who doesn't eat you sure do know how to make food" I said.

She rubbed her fingernails and said "when will you learn silly Bella, I can do almost anything"

"Anything but letting someone sleep" I mumbled to myself.

She just pretended she didn't hear that.

As I ate my food she looked like she was going to puke any second now. As I got up to place the dirty dish in the sink it 'disappeared' and I asked-a little scared-what's the rush. I knew as soon as I said those words I was in for trouble.

"Well" Alice stared with a wicked grin"since it is summer break, I thought you would like to come camping with us."

"Alice I can't come with you, you know that I-"Alice cut me off by jumping up from the table, "NOT THAT KIND! A CAMPFIRE, SMORES, and HIKING KIND!" she yelled into my ear, I was temporary def in my left ear.

"Oww!" I wimpered. She sat back down and gave me big golden puppy eyes that made me like putty, that's how she persuades Charlie! Hum note to self: Try Alice eyes on Charlie.

She noticed my zoning out and snapped her fingers in my face, "Bella? Bella? Bella!" she screamed

"Hun?" was all I could say.

She took in a deep breath "Bella" she began like a sweet little girl "if you go camping with us you may get to see Edward shirtless." She stated.

Omg Edward shirt less is like the 8th wonder of the word. I thought. With out even thinking about it I screamed "YES YES YES!!!!" I had to admit I was a little loud.


	2. Edward!

The Cullen's go camping!

Chapter 2: Edward!

Bella's POV

"Yes!" Alice screamed. "Now let's pack!"

I made a strange sound-a mix of sighing, screaming, and huffing.

"If I get Edward over here will you go to the mall with me?" she questioned.

"Well…isn't he hunting? I asked.

"He'll be home in 5 minutes." I tried to fight back the urge to leap into the air. But it just looked like I was having a spas attack.

"Ok then…. Alice said as she took in my craziness.

Just then Edward came in, took me into his arms and gave me a passionate kiss. My head was spinning. I finally had to break away a way for air. He just smiled at me; his honey-sunset eyes turned me into play dough.

"Let's go people its 9:00 and we leave at 12:00!" Alice said savagely. Edward shot her a hair-raising look.

She shoved me out the door and into the Volvo then she sped off to the mall at frightening speeds.

It didn't surprise me that we made a hour trip into a 15 minute one.


	3. The Mall!

The Cullen's go camping!

Chapter 3: The Mall

Bella's POV

"COME ON YOU TURTLES!" Alice yelled at me and Edward in the back of the Volvo.

"Gosh Alice we can't all be super human fast." I told her. She just rolled her eyes. The she blanked out, Edward chuckled, and they were having a silent conversation!

"Uh!" I screamed and stomped towards the mall entrance. As soon as my hand was about to grab the handle the door opened, thanks to Edward. I didn't look at him I just walked towards the REI store. **(A/N for those who don't know REI is a camping/outdoor store) **When we entered the store I turned towards Alice, who was not there. I did a 180 only to find Alice with her arms full of bikinis,** (A/N REI doesn't sell Bikinis put it's my story!)** hats, and sunglasses. I knew it was useless to run so I headed for the dressing rooms.

I took the clothes into the dressing room. The first one was white with a red and orange Hibiscus the top and the same on the bottom. I kind of liked this one, it made me look taller. As soon as I opened the door I tripped on me jeans, luckily Edward caught me.

"I like this one." He said as he took in my body. If a tomato were here, it would be jealous. After I got to my feet I saw Alice get me a thumbs up, she liked it too. I turned around and out of the corner of my eye I saw Mike, staring at me, his eyes filled with lust. Edward shooed me into the changing room as Mike ran over. I changed as fast as I could, gave Alice the bathing suit and grabbed Edward's hand. I noticed she had some accessories, orange sun glasses, and a Hibiscus hair clip. Alice tugged me, I tugged Edward, and Mike tried to grab me. "Big mistake." Edward said to Mike, who was giving me creepy looks. Edward grabbed Mike by the hand took him into one of the changing rooms and all you could here was Mike yelling: "I'll never touch her again!!!" I saw a cop approaching the stall. He opened the door to find Mike in the fetal position sucking his thumb. Alice, me, and the cop busted out laughing. I stared to go to the checkout counter but Alice stopped me to point a Edward, in his hand was a bag. "Well we seem to have everything, lets go home!" Edward said.


	4. READ

VERY IMPORTANT READ!!!

Ok so Ive puplished 3 chapters and Ive only got 1 review!!! Thank you to

**VAMPtastic1901****for the 1st and only review. If I dont get 10 yes ten reviews I will stop writing and you will never know how Emmett gets into Canadian Jail. Also check out my poll! **

**Please Review,**

**Alaska Vampire **


	5. I need Help

OK this is a little strange to put into a story but I am strange so here it goes, I need an assistant to help me write. If you want the 'job' please email me at please also send a short paragraph about your self and your writing. I will post the winner on Jan 20 for every one to see. But the winner will know right away. Winner gets to be in on every twist and turn in my stories (BTW you will get credit on EVERY story i write!)

Thank you if you apply.

AlaskaVampire.


	6. After shopping

I do not own Twilight

By Gizmo4655

Chapter 4:

When we got home, I realized we had only been gone an hour. But, then again, big shocker for Alice. She was scarier than a flying pig. And I hear those were creepy. (A/N: I read it in this book that made fun of weird things).

I walked through the door of the house, Edward in tow, and Alice running ahead to pack the newly bought things.

Edward stopped then pulled me behind him. "EMMETT! Do that and I will personally kill you." He said.

Emmett came down the stairs laughing. "Hey, you never said I couldn't do any pranks. Heck, we don't have any rules for camping! Why worry? Oh, right, cause your itty bitty Bella is coming."

He ran away laughing, carrying a box filled with what looked like jelly. Why would he find that funny? I hope I don't have to find out. Edward was staring where Emmett had left, growling.

"What is it? What is he going to do?"

He looked back at me and took my hand in his. He instantly calmed down. "I don't know. Who would've thought he could learn to block?" We laughed.

"Only an idiot. Trust me." Rosalie said coming down the stairs. "I don't even know."

She smiled at me. "You know Bella, me, you and Alice should have a talk. I would love to give you some pointers on camping with the Cullen's. Especially where we're going."

I looked at her in shock; she wanted to spend her last hour at home, talking to ME? Wow, this place was staring to freak me out. First Emmett now her? Her tinkling laugh made me stutter.

"Umm…oh… ok?"

"Great!" She said grabbing my hand and pulling me up the stairs. "ALICE!!!!"

"Yes?" She spoke, standing in the doorway of Rose's room. She looked at Rosalie dragging me and clapped. "Goody!!! Okay now, did you sign us up???"

"Huh?" I asked dumbly.

"I was talking to Rose."

"Yes Alice" Rose spoke annoyed.

"Lock the door please Alice."

"Of course." She said, and then sat down next to me on the bed.

Rosalie kept standing, pacing in front of us. "How are we going to do this…?" She paused and smiled at me. "Bella."

Alice cheered. "Of COURSE!!!" She said again.

"Huh?" Again, my brilliant answer.

They laughed. "Bella, how would you like to join our team? We need some one they won't suspect coming. They need to think we ran." Rose said thinking.

"Alice?" I asked, hoping she could clear it up for me.

She got the silent message and nodded. "Emmett decaled a prank war on me and Rose, and we signed up to go to a summer camp while they are camping. We made a plan. Play as many games as you can. Like the summer camp is game 1, hide and seek."

"Ok, but why use me?"

"We need you to make sure we look human enough to go to this camp. Oh, and to tell them which games we are going to play without them getting us. The trick, the prank war part, is we have to get caught while being the victim in the others' prank. Jasper and Emmett are the other team, and if they pull a prank at the summer camp, and we end up the victims, we lose and move on to the next game. The very last is a 48 hour prank war. We haven't decided on prizes yet, but we will soon. You are our helper. You send them news and you stick with us, but can't get pranked, otherwise we win. Edward is theirs, so he can't get pranked either." She stopped for a minute, craning her neck. "They just told him. And it's perfect! He can't read your mind, and will be too far away to read ours!"

"So we got the advantage because of me and you." I stated.

"You are one smart cookie!"

"Does Esme and Carlisle know?"

"Know??? They were the ones who suggested it! They want a peaceful camping trip this year. For them anyways."

Rose nodded in agreement. "Last year we played truth or dare and…"

*****____*****

_Flashback (Rose's POV)_

"_You kids need to play a game, how about hide and seek?" Esme said._

"_NOOOOO" Emmett whined next to me._

"_What about man hunt, or a water gun fight?"_

_I ignored her and said, "TRUTH OR DARE!!!"_

_Every one else cheered and I smiled in victory. "Ok I'll go first. Edward, truth or dare?"_

"_Dare." He had scoffed._

"_Ok. I dare you to go into Carlisle and Esme's tent and… _

_cover it head to toe in fish guts." Of course it wasn't a big dare at all, but Alice had warned me, and let's just say we sent a little something up._

_Edward shrugged and got up to go get fish. Esme looked at me disappointed. "We're going for a walk. Make sure everything is cleaned up when we get back. We all muttered oks but of course we wouldn't. _

_Edward came back, holding his nose to block the smell and ripped the fish open. I waited eagerly for him to enter the tent. He was a foot away when me and Alice got up and ran._

_We heard a BANG, knowing he entered the tent, and then heard the guys yelling after us._

_An hour later, we went back to the camp site, only to see our parents staring in shock at the scene. _

_The tent was a mixture of bright colors, and flames. The guys, especially Edward, were covered head to toe in fish guts, and paint. But the best part, they hadn't realized it wasn't paint._

_Alice twitched her nose telling me to play along. We didn't want to get in trouble for this, but wanted them to know what they were covered in. _

"_Jasper!" She screeched, going up and slapping him in the side of the head. "Why are you guys wearing my mascara and my sparkles!!!???" She was really good at that._

"_Emmett!!! You better have a good reason to be using Esme's food coloring and her flour! She was going to bake for the campgrounds' owners!"_

"_Uh…you...What...Esme?"They stuttered._

"_That's enough boys. You got too out of control. Girls, where were you when this happened. Cause you obviously weren't here."_

"_Oh, we went for a walk. We got bored of truth or dare." Alice answered. I nodded in agreement._

_We usually couldn't lie to Esme, but after she looked us over carefully, she let us go. "Good, you really shouldn't be playing that game. I ban it, unless you have parent supervision, and I mean me or Carlisle, got it?"_

_We nodded and she continued. "Girls, please go get some water from the lake, and walk down to the little store to see if they have some bleach."_

_We took off, only to slow down and laugh our heads off when we were sure they couldn't hear us._

_End of Flashback_

_*****____*****_

"And that wasn't the end of it, they used more then their share of our stuff." Rose finished her and Alice laughing their heads off.

I heard Emmett charge up the stairs and bang down the door. "We are leaving know, and babe that want nice." He said trying to wrap his arms around her.

But, she shrugged out of them and said, "Oh, well. You coming Bella? Don't forget they don't know where we are hiding." 


	7. Roadtrip

The Cullens go camping chapter 5

By Gizmo4655

This chapter is dedicated to Princess Of Souls.

I do not own twilight!!! A/N: ok, I no that prank wars are over done, but this will be different! Plus, everyone likes writing prank war stories. They are popular, not necessarily over done.

* * *

Previously:

But, she shrugged out of them and said, "Oh, well. You coming Bella? Don't forget they don't know where we are hiding."

Rosalie was the first out the door, Emmett trying to seduce her. She ran right into Carlisle's car, locking the doors. We all knew he could get in if he tried, but Carlisle, even being the wonderful guy he is, would kill him for it.

Alice was second, hand in hand with Jasper. They wanted to take Alice's car t spend their last moments together before they had to leave and declare war on eachother. They also took off first. You know Alice; she's all about being ready and first.

Edward and I were last, jumping into his Volvo. It would be nice with all the peace and quiet. No Alice singing and talking my ears off, no Emmett insulting me, no Jasper controlling my emotions. Just Edward and I, all peace and quiet.

Edward made sure I was in the car and went to place the final stuff in the back of the vehicles. I looked back and he smiled at me, making my heart jump. I looked forward and saw Emmett getting into his jeep without Rosalie. I laughed quietly and Edward did as well, when he came into the drivers' seat.

"So… let me get this straight. You and I in your Volvo, Carlisle, Esme and Rose in Esme's Ferrari (Carlisle bought if for her because everyone else had a car), Emmett in his jeep, and Alice and Jasper in her Porsche."

"Yes. I would've thought that Em and Rose would want to spend time together like me, you, Alice and Jasper, but Rose has different thoughts." He laughed quietly and Emmett flipped him, but Edward 'didn't' notice.

"So, why don't you and I try to be the second ones there and we can go for a walk into the woods. Just you and I?"

"As nice as that sounds…I don't think that's a great idea…" I trailed off.

"Well, I was thinking it would be nice…" He kissed me lightly.

I sighed. "Ugh! Fine!"

He chuckled and pulled out of the driveway. "So, what do you want to do?" He asked me.

"Sleeping would be nice. I didn't get much because of that stupid pixie." I grumbled.

"Go ahead, sleep than love. It's over a 5 hour drive."

I shot up. "Where are we going anyways?" I asked cautiously. Hr smiled reassuringly and I relaxed a little.

"Canada. Athabasca, Alberta to be exact. The Athabasca River is actually quite nice."

"Great, where people say 'Eh'. What a joy…"

He laughed. "A stereo type, love."

I sighed and closed my eyes. "I'm guessing you've been there?"

"Yes, and they have a bunch of lovely historic buildings, trails, sports stuff, and campsites. We are actually staying at one right off the river. There is a water park, Skateboard Park, and the gazebo at the river front. It's quite beautiful. I think you'll like it. Now, sleep, its fine."

I relaxed against the back of the chair, and was about to doze off when I asked sleepily, "What about the sun?"

"Carlisle got that covered, he got this spray stuff. It is actually warm in the summers, and just like Forks any other season. So, the weather is unpredictable. It mostly trees, and it's a small town, there are plenty of places to stay to ourselves."

I nodded and dozed off, finally.

* * *

I awoke to a soft shake. "Love, wake up. We're entering the town in about 2 minutes, and I wanted to know if you're hungry."

"Uhh…." I said groggily. "Uh, sure, I guess. What can we get?"

"Do you like A&W?"

"Fast food? Uh, that's fine, I guess."

"Ok, well why don't you take a look at the town. It mostly hills and trees so keep an eye out for stuff that you can trip or hurt yourself over."

I glared at him. "Har, har." I said in an emotionless tone.

He chuckled and gestured for me to look. I gasped.

It really was beautiful. The part of town we were coming in at was the east part. If you drive through farm land and trees for two minutes from the intersection, you see a church in the middle of the trees, and a road labeled 'Tower Road.' Than, drive another minute, and you start through the town. There is a car shop and a 'Jack's' gas station. It was tiny, and half was a laundry shop. Past that you could see a school, and some houses by the school, and some trailers past the car shop. Right beside the gas station was a new motel. And then a group of houses behind that. There was a little road in between the hotel and a 'Canadian Tire.' Then there were some trees, and the hospital with a big 'H' on it. On Edward's side there was a 'Super 8' and an A&W, which he was going to turn into. On my side, across from the road that enters A&W, was another road leading to the houses and the school and hospital, but they were all covered by tress. Then, past that, was an old folk's home, a memorial of the building and a beautiful hill, with a road on the right side. I could see around halfway down the hill, and there was a pathway on the side, then a thin layer of woods. It was VERY green here, but there were tones of flowers and plants that made it even nicer.

Edward was ordering me a fries and hamburger. I could tell the girl working at the window was trying to keep her eyes from popping out and drool from pooling out. I took his hand and she dropped her gaze from me and him. Edward rubbed his thumb over my hand, assuring me that he was mine and no one elses.

We were going again. Halfway down the hill, there was a church and a little neighbor hood on one side, and a boat shop, a new road leading to the bridge, and a road to some trails on the other. There was also another church that was behind a couple trees. Then, near the bottom, was an intersection and a under ground road, that also led to the bridge. On Edwards's side was a clearing, and also some trees, but then a camp site, probably the one we were staying at. My side had the little neighborhood and a little creek below us. And then a car wash. The liquor store was across from the camp site's entrance.

I looked ahead before we went down the little hill. All the streets were going up hill, and there were many stores, the gazebo and the river front, which had an old roman clock on a stand on the camp site's side, which was on a hill, by the river and near the parks, like Edward said.

Edward also told me that the schools, there were three, one was up by the hospital, one was up on another hill that was off of the main street, and the third was father at the other end of the town, covered by trees and woods, but I could see the turn off for the hill it was on.

"The school covered with trees is there for a reason. It's the school with the hiking and skiing trails. The kids, who go to school there, and some at the other schools, have to run them for gym."

"I'm glad I don't go to that school. It's like ALL hills and trees."

We pulled up to a spot that faced the lake, with trees separating the others' from us, and I saw Alice's porche. It was pretty fancy for here as well, but Edward told me that people who live here are used to fancy cars, lots of rich people visit here. Even in the winter, because he said it looks like one of those glittering white places on a Christmas card.

"Where are Alice and Jasper?"

"They went for a walk on the river front, want to go too?"

I nodded. I knew that in small towns people don't bother with stealing or anything, so our stuff was safe.

He took me down the tiny hill that stretched across the town and to the edge where the river was, and where a little path laid. It was stone, and went around the occasional tree or two. It let to the gazebo. It had a ramp on one side and stairs on both sides. There was a little gazebo and a parking lot, and some sitting places with trees in the middle along one side. The other had some spaced out trees, an old train station, a parking lot and a home hardware store. In between was a big thing of green, green grass, and beside the sides of the gazebo were some pine trees. The front of it opened toward the town, and there was a little wooden platform. The back was a railing that looked at the river and the path continued below it.

Alice and Jasper were looking out, sitting on the edge of the gazebo, staring at the Husky and the old hotel.

It was really nice.

"Hey Bella. Hi Edward." Alice said. "I read that green sign over there, and it said every Canada Day, July 1st, they have a River Rats festival with music and games and everything! People just bring their lawn chairs and sit in front f the gazebo and watch the performances, go play games, or walk around town. And at night they have fireworks and people buy glow in the dark stuff and its two whole days! Some people stay here all night, others just leave their stuff here and come back the next day! I don't really want to do the war anymore! I want to stay here and see what the town has to offer. It's really beautiful! It actually an official tourist site!"

Jasper nodded. "There are green signs all over, some with pictures, telling you about the history of the town, and they even have places you can check out. This town dates back to before you and Alice were born, and still has the old trading posts up. The old elementary school goes back to the 1900s and that old train station too. I really like it. There is so much open space and forest that the smell doesn't bother me, and we can go on those trials to hunt."

"I want to go to this festival thing. Edward, can you please talk Emmett out of the prank war, please!!!" Alice begged.

Edward smiled, and then burst out laughing.

Alice looked offended. "What!? How is that funny?"

"No… I… CARLISLE!!!" He yelled.

I looked to the smaller gazebo and saw Carlisle and Esme walking hand in hand to us, Rose following behind yelling at someone through the phone.

"Alice, the war has already been officially called off."

"How?"

"Well, Emmett had some trouble getting here. Actually, he hadn't even made it here yet. He's in the city, Edmonton. Let's just say that there is so much trouble in that city, they don't like people who have anger problems. Neither do the police."

Alice and Jasper burst out laughing. "Emmett got arrested?!"

I started laughing too and Esme and Carlisle smiled. Rosalie came up and said, "Emmett wants me to bust him out."

"I'll go," Carlisle said.

"Wait!" Rose called. He stopped. "Maybe you should teach him a lesson."

Carlisle nodded and walked back to us; while we looked at the town, listening to Alice go on about the festival.

"Its only 3 days away!"

* * *

A/N: There, I changed it. I know there's a lot of description, but it really is a beautiful town, and those are real facts. I live there, actually right outside it, just look it up.

There will still probably be some pranks, but not a whole war. REVIEW!!


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